If you build it they will come...

I'm still slowly working through my journey but wanted to share my daughter's success the other day. On her own she undertook to KM her bedroom and bathroom. She did a great job! So proud of her...and now my husband is talking about doing his clothes....

Clothing - Exercise Clothes and Swimwear - October 6

This was another quick category that will be revisited later as I figure out how to fit exercise into my life more regularly...

Before...  

After...

I am letting go of three swimsuits, some exercise pants and capris, and seven exercise tops.  The white box in the drawer holds swimwear.

One Month In -- My Thoughts So Far

When I started this process I was frustrated that Marie Kondo says it will take up to six months to complete the process.  I want magical transformation now!!!  I'm not the most patient person in the world.  And I know that, as with any decluttering/organizational effort, things will get worse before they get better...that will be especially true when I tackle the kitchen, and then papers and miscellaneous items (komono) and sentimental items and crafts....  But I don't have to accomplish this all in one weekend, or even one week, or one month.  I do have a six month goal, however.


So, one month in I'm almost finished with all of my clothing.  I still need to do workout clothing and coats, but then I will be completely done with clothing!  I plan to finish those this week, and coats should be easy because Brie and I went through the coat closet several months ago and got rid of a lot of coats.


One month in, one category almost done.  And guess what?  I am actually seeing magical transformations in my life.  In just one month.  Miraculous magical transformation!


-My dresser drawers and closet have stayed neat, organized, and tidy, despite the fact that I get things out and put them back on a daily basis -- sometimes multiple times each day.  My neatly folded shirts and jeans and pants and shorts and pajama and socks are all still very neatly folded -- they seem to want to stay that way.  It's so easy at the end of the day to take something off, refold it, and put it right back into its designated spot in my dresser drawer.


-It's been one month since I have left an article of clothing on my bedroom floor.  Those of you who always immediately put your clothing away/in the hamper when you take them off won't recognize what a triumph this is for me -- what a transformation.  But it's true -- I just automatically want to put things away when I take them off, whether that's back in the dresser, the closet, or the hamper.  Last night I somehow ended up with an extra nightgown on my bed when I got ready for bed and rather than fold it and put it away, I dropped it on the floor next to my bed.  It bothered me and bothered me and bothered me and I had to deal with it....it was like it was sitting there looking at me with a sad face, wondering why I wasn't taking care of it in the manner it should be cared for!  Crazy, I know, but it's definitely a huge change for me.


-Shopping.  I am a shopaholic.  But since I started this journey one month ago, my shopping urges have significantly decreased.  I have actually gone into Target and not bought a single item of clothing or for my home that wasn't on my shopping list!  Nine West -- check!  J. Crew -- check!  Ann Taylor -- check!  Loft -- check!  This is miraculous, people.  I can't even begin to tell you.  Part of it is a result of actually staring at the piles of my clothing, handling each item, and coming face to face with how much I had, how much I didn't wear, and how much I didn't need.  Part of it is knowing that, even though I have some drawer space and closet space available to me, I have a wonderful assortment of clothing that sparks joy and that I love....and I have more of it than I really need.  So when I see items in the store, I appreciate their loveliness but I don't feel a burning desire to buy them and bring them home.  I've even found myself walking around the store mindlessly picking up things to buy, only to look at them and realize that I don't love them that much and I have things at home that I love more...and returning the items to their racks in the stores.  This is huge.  This is transformation.


-Wardrobe choices.  I knew that I preferred certain colors, but I didn't realize how monochromatic my wardrobe had become until I freed everything that didn't spark joy and organized the rest of it.  I have A LOT of black, navy, gray, and white in my wardrobe, with splashes of light blue, fuschia, and purple.  Now I know exactly what I have and what I need -- I need a belt to wear with jeans.  I need a soft white t-shirt to wear with pajama pants (bought that yesterday).  And when I do decide I want to buy new clothes, I know what colors are missing from my wardrobe so I can branch out and try new things.  I find that I no longer shop mindlessly -- I know exactly what I want/need and that's what I get.  I needed some work pants that fit -- bought three pairs and two sweaters to coordinate with them -- they add a needed bit of color (plum and teal) and coordinate with almost everything else I own.  I needed a pair of black dressy sandals -- found them on clearance at Nine West and didn't buy anything else.  I've been looking for a pair of nude strappy sandals -- found them on clearance at Ann Taylor and didn't buy anything else.  Needed a white t-shirt to wear with pajamas -- bought that at Target and didn't buy anything else.  I love this feeling of knowing exactly what holes I need to fill in my wardrobe and then finding those items.


I have taken three large bags of donations to Salvation Army and have three more bags ready to go, plus a few other things.  And that is just from doing my own clothes.  I'm excited about the process and wish I had more time to devote to it....but that's ok -- I'm making progress!

Clothing - Shoes, Dresses, and Closet - October 2

My apologies -- these pictures are a bit out of order....

Shoes.....this was a category I was dreading.  I really love shoes.  Love shoes.  They spark joy for me.  So I was afraid this one would be really tough.  It helped that I had done a go-through of my shoes with one of my sisters  while back.  But still...after I gathered up all of my shoes from around my house, this is the pile I was faced with...

This is the discard pile.  There are some fabulous shoes in there -really fabulous shoes.  But if they weren't comfortable I got rid of them.  If I had gotten rid of the outfit they went with and they didn't match anything else, I got rid of them.  And so this is 28 pairs of shoes ready to go on to their next home and owner....  (I didn't take a picture of the "after" because my shoes are stored in three different places in the house.)

Dresses...for some reason I didn't get before and after pictures, but I ended up saying goodbye to 5-6 dresses. 

One of my goals over the last few weeks -- once this process showed me that it was actually going to be possible -- was to consolidate my clothes to one side of our walk-in closet and move my husband's clothes into the other side.  I so badly wanted to do this and wanted to surprise him with the result.  Below is a picture of all of the hangars I ended up getting rid of.....And actually, there were more after that!  It's insane how many of those blasted metal hangars I had!

These are "before" pictures of the closet....

And this is all of my hanging clothing (except coats which are in the coat closet), all on ONE SIDE of the walk-in closet!  I am so excited about this!  My summer shoes are lined up on the floor below the clothing, closed toe shoes that I don't wear frequently are in a shoe holder on the far wall of the closet, and the rest of my shoes (frequently worn) are in a shoe holder in the entry way.  I moved the clothing my husband had in our guest room closet and surprised him.  In hindsight, though, I should have moved his clothing from the hanging bar in the laundry room and left the other stuff in the guest room closet.  He wasn't as impressed as I expected him to be, but that's ok -- I'm not doing this process for him as much as I'm doing it for me.  Sometime this week I'll swap his clothes around and that will make my laundry room much easier to get in/out of.

Clothing - Pajamas - September 24

This category was surprisingly difficult for me!  Here is the before pile....

I love pajamas.  LOVE them.  Love cozy pajamas, silk pajamas, pretty pajamas, soft knit pajamas, etc.  One item in this group that was particularly difficult was a pair of old satin-y pajamas (not lingerie, but actual pajama pants and chemise top) that I took on my honeymoon with me.  (Have I mentioned that I love pajamas?)  I don't know why, but for some reason I have hung on to that pair of pajamas for 23+ years....they are definitely well past their prime with holes in the lace, discolorations, snags, etc.  It was hard to let them go on their way, though.  I really don't know why, but I needed some emotional support/prodding from my sister with this category!

And below is the "after" picture.  This is a very deep dresser drawer that was previously overflowing with pajamas.  There are three pair that aren't in the drawer yet (in the laundry right now) but there is room for them.  I need to buy a soft white t-shirt to wear with the two pairs of pajama pants that I kept, and everything else in this drawer is very soft knitwear (thank you, Soma!) or very lightweight summer nightgowns (the top floor of our house gets uncomfortably hot in the summer).  I released about 10 nightgowns/pairs of pajamas on to their next destination.

This category took me about 45 minutes.

Clothing - Socks and Tights - September 14

This category was pretty quick and easy -- I did it one night while I watched a favorite TV show.  This is the before pile...which is actually a lot deeper than it looks...

This is *just* my bin of tights...yeah, I have a few pairs of tights and, once again, you can definitely see which colors I tend to wear the most!

My tights after I was done...I experimented with standing them up on end or putting them in the bin like this...this way won out.  I discarded 8-10 pairs of tights.  To organize what I kept, I used this clear bin inside my nightstand drawer so they stay neat and tidy.  To the side of the bin (this picture is sideways) are the socks that I can't find the mates for right now but that I don't want to get rid of yet...I'm hoping their mates will materialize.

And the socks that I kept.  Yes, I love fuzzy, cozy socks and  I wear them daily in the winter to keep my feet warm while I'm waiting outside for the bus.  So I need lots of them because socks get gross after you wear them with boots.

I'm really happy with how things went with this category!

Clothing - Bottoms - September 10

I will freely admit that I probably cheated a bit on this category.  I have a lot of pants and a couple of skirts that I really love that don't fit right now because I've gained weight.  Truth be told, I'm torn between trying to get back into them or just losing weight, getting in shape, and trying to keep some of my new "curves."  We shall see....  But in the meantime, I decided to hang on to the pants that don't fit right now that do spark joy and so I ended up keeping probably 10 pairs of pants.  I will do a second pass at KMing my clothes in the future and we'll see where those end up.

Anyway....before....

Everything piled on the bed....good grief.....

These are pants and skirts to get rid of, but not the final pile -- I added more to them.  I'm debating over what to do with these.  They're all nice pants/jeans and I spent a lot of money on them so I'd like to get something for them instead of just donating them, but I don't know how much to charge, where to list them, having been able to find a consignment shop that has good recommendations, etc.....and honestly, I'd probably get more out of the tax deduction than I would if I sold/consigned them.  So this pile is still sitting by my bed (it's gotten bigger) while I decide what to do with it.

These are the pants I saved (jeans and shorts are in a dresser drawer -- all consolidated down from two very full drawers to one!).  These are not the slacks that go with my suits -- those are hanging with their matching jacket.  Obviously, I tend to wear certain colors...black, gray, navy...with two pairs of khaki thrown in for good measure.  I am predictable!  I also like having these hang on their own hangers instead of the hangers that held multiple pairs.  So much easier to see and get to and hang back up!

Skirts...I do still have a bunch of these on multi-tiered hangars and will have to keep them that way for now since I don't have enough space to hang them separately.  Again, you can easily see my color preferences!

This category took about three hours because I had to try on so many of the items to see if they fit or not.  I will definitely re-do this category in the future, but for now I'm pretty happy with my progress!

Category 1 - Clothing - Tops (and some "before" shots of my bedroom)

Marie Kondo says you can only KonMari your own things -- let your family members see your progress and be inspired and do their own things....so I preface this post and these pictures by telling you that not everything in these pictures is mine.  But, in the interest of full disclosure, I will tell you that 90% to 95% of the clutter and mess in this bedroom *IS* mine and I am taking ownership of that.

The KonMari method breaks the process down into categories, and clothing is first.  Clothing is further subdivided into categories, with shirts (t-shirts, blouses, and sweaters) being first. And so yesterday I dove in and began my "tidying festival."

First, some before pictures -- and remember, this is in the spirit of complete and total honesty, accepting that I have created this mess and it is my responsibility to create the space that I want.  No judging!

So the first category is tops -- blouses, t-shirts, and sweaters.  I took every single item in that category and stacked it on my bed.....

OK, that's a lot of clothes.  And I will tell you that I had done a closet/dresser purge within the last year....so it could have been a lot worse.  But it is what it is.  One of the things that pulling it all out and putting it in one place did for me was to show me just how much stuff I have -- and how much of it I have been disrespecting by wadding it up to shove in dresser drawers, cramming it into closets, or leaving it on the floor to be stepped on, etc.  It also helped me see how many items I bought as impulse purchases that I've only worn once or twice and don't really love, and how many items I've been hanging on to out of fear of not having enough.  What's the point of having a closet and dresser full of stuff I don't like, when I have plenty of items that I *love*?

And so I began.  I was surprised at how easy this category was for me, although I still had a decent sized pile of stuff that I just couldn't decide about.  For example -- a shirt that goes with a skirt.  I love the skirt but the shirt is just ok, but I need something to go with the skirt that I truly love.  I decided to keep the shirt until I'm able to replace it with one that I love, because the item does get used and worn and has a purpose, so the joy it is bringing me right now is that allows me to wear the skirt that I really do love.

I ended up calling my sister Melissa to help me with a second go-through of the pile and she convinced me to throw out most of the items that had a "but...." connected with them.  For example, a cardigan sweater that has rows of flat black lace on it.  I love the design of the sweater and the contrast of the black lace against the light background of the sweater.  But....the color of the sweater is really NOT flattering on me so I didn't wear it much.  Time to let it go -- because there is someone out there with the right coloring for that sweater who will love it and for whom it will spark joy.

And so here is my discard pile.....

And here is my keep pile....(it's not as big as it looks -- it was on top of a bunch of pillows):

And here are my two nicely organized drawers, my hung items, and my sweaters all folded the KonMari way (I'm not sure I've got the sweaters right -- need to check on that):

I had an interest

I still need to organize the order of the drawers and closet, but I already feel better about the way it is all done!

Marie Kondo says this process will change your mindset and your life, and I've been reading comments and things from a lot of people who say that has happened for them.  I was a bit skeptical, until I went to the mall last night.  I need some new dress slacks for work -- I've gained weight and my pants don't fit comfortable.  I'm not giving up on fitting into the pants that I have, but in the meantime I need some basic slacks (black, navy, and gray) to wear to work.  I went into a store and found some black slacks on clearance -- they were a great deal.  In the past I might have bought them without trying on but I wanted to see if they would "spark joy."  The fabric was lovely to the touch but when I put the pants on, they weren't really that comfortable and they lining was loud (does that make sense????).  They weren't as flattering as I would like.  They just didn't make me smile.  Good deal or no, they stayed in the store and I walked away.  I went into another store and saw a cute t-shirt on a good sale.  I picked it up and carried it around the store with me and almost bought it - I was in line at the register, when I looked at it again.  It was a lovely, soft knit, but the color isn't one of my best colors and asked myself why I was buying the shirt when I had a drawer full of shirts that I already know make me happy, and I have more than I can wear in two weeks.  I took the shirt back to its place on the rack and walked out of the store, with a smile on my face.  I went into another store and saw a fabulous pair of nude strappy sandals on a great clearance sale and tried them on.  I loved them immediately and they made me smile. Those came home with me.

Even if I don't accomplish anything else in this journey, the money I would have spent on those pants and the t-shirt MORE than cover what I spent to buy Marie Kondo's book.  I'd say that's success.  But more than that, I didn't start my normal cycle -- impulse buy, regret, don't like it, take it back...or, worse yet, forget to take it back and then I'm out that money.  I don't want to get into that cycle.  That is not the person I choose to be.

Now, you will note that I still have a lot of shirts and sweaters.  I will probably do this category again at some point in time because I did hang on to things that I am willing to part with in the future if I find something better.  I'm not an expert at this KonMari thing by any stretch of the imagination, and the amount that is "just right" for me is not what is "just right" for someone else.  I'm not a minimalists and that's not what I'm trying to be.  It's not about judging how much I have, how much I keep, and how much I discard against what you choose to have, keep, and discard.  This is about me finding MY joy, and you fnding YOURS.

I am hoping to tackle Category 2 tomorrow -- bottoms -- pants, skirts, shorts, etc.  I'm a bit concerned because I have lots of clothes that I LOVE that either just don't fit as a result of the last 5 pounds I've gained, and so I'm not getting rid of those because I'm also working on losing that weight right now.  So this will be interesting.

And So It Begins.....

I have fought a losing battle with clutter for years.  Well, for my whole life if I'm going to be honest. And I have to be honest.  This journey demands it.

What journey is that?  I am going to start a journey with the KonMari method of "tidying," which really is decluttering, organizing, and ridding myself of those things that do not "spark joy" and speak to my heart and soul.  I am on a journey to discover my best self, to have a home my family and I can love and be proud of.

I finished reading the book "The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up" by Marie Kondo just a few weeks ago.  This is the "tidying" fad that is taking the world by storm.  The book spoke to me in a way that no other similar book has spoken to me.  I recognized myself in the pages of that book.  And because I recognized myself, because I could relate to the people in the book, the stories in the book, and the insights in the book, I think this is the tool I've been looking for, waiting for.

In my efforts to conquer the clutter I have tried a few methods -- FlyLady (sorry, but a shiny sink doesn't do it for me), an online system that gave small daily decluttering/organizing tasks (tiny, baby steps of non-visible progress don't do it for me), and other methods.  None have worked.  Why?  I think Marie Kondo hit the nail on the head -- because none of them demanded that I be completely, fully, honest with myself about the emotions and memories and "stuff" attached to my stuff.  And none of them allowed me to focus on keeping only those things that "spark joy."  Rather, they focused on finding ways to organize the stuff.  But it's not about organizing the stuff.  It's about getting rid of the stuff that doesn't "spark joy", the stuff that doesn't help me be the person I want to be, living the life I want to live.

I don't know if I would consider myself a hoarder, but my home looks suspiciously similar to what I imagine someone's home would look like if they were in the initial stages of hoarding taking over their lives.  Piles everywhere.  Stuff everywhere.  So many things.  So much stuff.  Piles in every room of the house -- seriously.  Piles that I step around and move to the side so I can get by, piles that ebb and flow but never truly disappear.  More stuff than I need, more stuff than I use. And yet I buy more and more and more and more.  I am hoping, through this KonMari journey, to break myself of that habit, to finally vanquish that part of me that cries out for more and more stuff.  So perhaps there are three things at play here -- my shopaholic tendencies (retail therapy...), my absolute abhorrence of housework and cleaning, and my desire to have things, to be sure I have enough.  I am hopeful that this journey will help me to understand this, understand myself, and bring my better self to the forefront.

Very soon I'll post brutally honest pictures of my home in its current condition.  It's embarrassing.  Horribly embarrassing.  I could lie and blame my work schedule and physical exhaustion for the condition of my house, but it would be just that -- a lie.  Because this hasn't just happened in the last few years.  It's been a lifetime thing for me.  I'm still trying to decide whether to share this blog with the Facebook decluttering group that I started a few years ago (and which makes me feel like a fraud and a hypocrite!).  If I am able to complete the journey, then perhaps this blog will help inspire others who feel the same way -- claustrophobic and anxious in their own homes.  Uncomfortable in their own homes.  Embarrassed by their home, by the mess, and by the fact that their children don't want to invite friends over because the house is such a mess.  People who almost panic when people are coming over and launch into a "pick it up fast" frenzy.  I don't want to live like that anymore.

The scriptures say that we are to organizes ourselves and prepare a house of order.  As I go to other people's homes, I notice a peaceful feeling in their clean homes.  It isn't about the amount of stuff -- some are minimalists when it comes to decorating and others are not -- but no one else that I know has a house that looks like mine.  When I look at pictures of homes online and in magazines, I realize that I am drawn to ones that look peaceful, tranquil.  And what is it that gives them that feeling?  They are clean.  Organized.  There are not multiple piles in every room.  There is a place for everything and everything has its place.  Boiled down, what does that mean?  There is not too much stuff.  They are not cluttered, in the sense that there are not books and shoes and towels and all manner of miscellany on the floor.  Surfaces, though they may showcase a variety of knick-knacks and objects, aren't spilling their contents onto the floor.  There aren't boxes of unsorted mail, piles of unpaid bills, overflowing recycling and trash bins...  There is not an overabundance of stuff.  Rather, everything looks as if it was made, was created, to be exactly where it is.  They have found the place that Marie Kondo calls the "just right click point" (or something like that).  I need to find that place.

The first task that Marie Kondo sets forth in the book is to visualize the desired destination -- what do I want out of this journey?  Why do I want to take this journey?  Why now?  What is my real, true, underlying motivation?  It's important to find that, to identify that, and to keep that in mind as the hard work begins.  The "five whys" method of root cause analysis comes into play 

So, what do I visualize as my desired destination?  If our homes are to be the closest places to heaven on earth next to the temple, then I want my home to be a temple.  And what does that look like?  Uncluttered, open spaces, room to move and breathe, a place for everything and everything in its place.  Things that bring smiles and peace and tranquility.  What would my ideal lifestyle look like?  When I came home from work I would feel comfortable, welcome, and free to spend time with my family without the anxiety and distraction caused by all of the stuff around us...I would have room to exercise (should I choose to do so), to dance...I would have the ability to welcome friends and guests into my home at any time with just a quick pick-up and dusting, my daughter would have the ability to invite her friends over at any time to hang out in a fun, clean, inviting place in the basement.  I would have a place to work on projects that I was interest in, that caught my attention, that sparked my creativity, and brought a smile to my face.  

Why do I want this?  Because I want my home to be peaceful and tranquil and beautiful, because I want to establish a house of order.

Why do I want to do this?  So that I feel comfortable and welcome in my own home, and so that others feel comfortable and welcome in my home as well.

Why do I want to do this?  So I can be surrounded by love and happiness and focus on building relationships as opposed to getting and organizing and moving stuff.  I want to be surrounded by love and joy and happiness and people...not piles and anxiety and claustrophobia and stuff.

Why do I want to do this?  Because I want to spend my time with people who lift me up and help me be a better person.  Because people are more important than things.  Because family is the most important of all.  Because I only have so much time left with my daughters before they are full-fledged adults out on their own, and I want to enjoy every single precious moment with them.  Because once they leave, my husband and I will be left with each other and I want to be able to reconnect and rediscover and learn and grow along with him....I want us to be in the same room of the house.  I want us to fall in love all over again and keep falling in love, without all of this stuff in the way.  Because my family is going to be an eternal family and I want to focus on them, and not the stuff.  Because people matter.  Stuff fulfills a purpose, but it is not the be all, end all.  People are.

Because it's never too late to be your best self.  To say every morning, "I am no longer that person.  That is not the person I choose to be.  I choose to be the best possible me."  To wake up surrounded by beautiful scents, fresh air, room to move, and space to be.  Because housework makes me cranky, and clutter makes me cranky and anxious and claustrophobic, and that is not the person I choose to be anymore.

I choose to organize myself and prepare a house of order.

Marie Kondo says the entire journey should take about six months, or be done in no more than six months.  I am hoping to begin this weekend.  And since this post right here was the first step in the journey, I guess I can say that I have now begun.